Wednesday, January 16, 2013

relapse


I want to get healthy. This on-going state of solitude is making me stir crazy. There are windows, but everything on the other side seems so unattainable right now. I often daydream about sparking up another cigarette, or sipping a whole pot of coffee (blackest of the black, of course) again. I love being tiny. I love the eyes that can't be taken off me. The bones. The skin. The clothes. I want to be sick some days, but the other part of me wants everything I used to have: stamina, concentration, warmth for God's sake. 

But there are those days. They're screaming at me. I want peace. I want....

#ambivalence

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